Sunday, October 5, 2008

Life chain and situational morals

Each year, on the first Sunday in October is the Life Chain when many Pro-Life supports go and stand along busy road sides holding signs against abortion. I have gone almost every year since my marriage 17 years ago. One year I didn't go because we had 2 very active foster sons and it was not safe to take them with us.

This year, I did not gone. I could not go.

I just did not have it in me to go.

I have honestly believed that abortion is wrong. I have believed that it is the killing of a life. While it is each person's decision, I have believed it is morally wrong. As an infertile woman, who adopted older children, it always ripped my heart open to think of all the babies that were not born because of abortion.

Back in June, someone very close to me became pregnant. She is someone who should never ever have become pregnant but she did. She was on heavy duty meds and the damage was done to the baby. As soon as her Dr heard she was pregnant, he took her off her meds. If she were to go to term, she would need to stay off her meds. She wanted to have that baby. Those of us who loved her watched her spiral out of control off her meds. We watched her go to a very dark place where the paranoia struck, where people in cars next to her on the highway were talking to her and telling her to jump out of the car going 65 MPH, the ceiling would open up at night and talk to her, she started becoming violent and the people she lived with were locking their bedroom doors at night, she was becoming suicidal. She was calling me at all hours of the night begging me to put an end to this. After about 3 weeks of this, I started agreeing that an abortion was what would save her life since the Drs would not give her anything to help her mental status. There was no way I could see her going to term like this. She went to Planned Parenthood, they counselled her, she had the abortion. My heart broke when she called me and said I forced her into it. I didn't even go with her to any of her appointments.

September came and she because pregnant again and told me that she has an abortion scheduled on Wednesday. This time her Dr has allowed her to stay on her meds. My heart is again broken.

The thing about abortion is that it just doesn't affect the mother, it touches the lives of all those who love her, if she chooses to tell them.

So, I have been sitting here this afternoon, wondering, are my morals situational? Would I make the same decision again and advise her to have the first abortion? I was talking with one of the Elders in my church about this and he was saying, "Stop Abortions" is really so simplistic until you really stop to think about it and the lives that are affected by it. While, I still think it is wrong, I still feel I have the responsibility to protect the mother who is pregnant...she is here right now and that baby is not...
For those of you who have followed me over here from AOL, I am sure you can figure out who she is ....and why I feel/felt the need to protect her


Lisa said...

I will say prayers. I know it is a complex issue in a case like this. Like you I am against abortion too. I know there is no easy answer in this situation. I am so sorry to hear you are going through this. God will lead you to an answer for your loved one.

Cynthia said...

This is a brave and thoughtful entry. You and your friend are in my prayers.

Anonymous said...

In that condition She most likely would have injured herself before she carried the baby full term...the right choice was made. I would just be concerned that she will use abortion as a form of birth control now...that can be very damaging to a young woman's body.
Very brave entry...and I commend you for writing it.
I wish you all luck.

Melissa said...

I also don't believe in abortions. However, there are things that are just not cut and dried. There are not many absolutes in life. I think when we are young it's very easy to see everything as a black and white issue. The older we get the more the gray creeps into our world view. It's part of the journey we were sent here to experience and learn from. My heart breakes for your friend and for you. Be proud of the friend you are to her. Remember, God sees the big picture while we see just the snall snippets. One day we will all understand. Bless you.